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I’m sorry to everyone on here who had no way to protect themselves when these things happen. Luckly for me the people who tried to molest me got the message the first time I kicked them away and told them not to touch me.
You see when I was younger I went to this daycare that never payed attention to what any of the kids were doing,so I had these two older girls who would bully me all the time,but being young I just wanted to be friends with everyone so one day they told me we could be friends. What they did though was want to experiment with their sexuality and wanted me to be the guinea pig. One girl told me to be quiet and just let them do what they want. At first I laid down letting them start to pull my pants down when I felt this urge of “no,I don’t like this” and I first told them no,but they persisted to keep trying until I kicked one of the girls in the face and ran. I never told anyone what happened because it never happened again and I never thought about it,but I will admit to this day I still feel awkward at anyone seeing my body or parts. I dont feel safe for some reason. I don’t know maybe it’s just me.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. Often when we are assaulted, it’s by a member of the opposite sex but members of our own sex can violate us too. For many survivors of male perpetrated sexual assault they may find that they find it difficult to trust or be near other men and I’m guessing that you don’t know who to trust. You coped amazingly well in that situation but it doesn’t mean it won’t have an affect. You should talk to someone you can trust, maybe by processing it, you can move on. Good luck.
I was sexually assaulted twice within a year of each other. The first time it happened I didn’t report it because I just wanted to forget it ever happened and pushed it so far in the back of my mind that I thought I had forgotten..even though he lives right across the street from me. The second time it happened..by a totally different person, in different place…I thought to myself, do I have a “Rape me” sign on my back?
No hon, you don’t. It’s just more common than society is willing to let us believe. Thank you for sharing
I was six or seven, all I remember is that I was babysitted by the son of one of mom's friend. The thing is I remember I asked to watch a disney movie and he answered "Yes but only if you do one thing for me", I replied "yes" without knowing what was going to happen next. He then lied on his bed, opened his fly and told me to suck his dick. I just did it . Once back home I told everything to my mom but nothing happened. Since then I feel like I'm haunted or something
You were very brave to confide in your mother. Sometimes mothers don’t know what to say or do because they are so controlled by patriarchy they have no choice (my mother did a similar thing).
You’re not haunted, just affected by something awful that happened to you.
Talking through your feelings may help.
My ex boyfriend showed up on my doorstep one night, highly intoxicated. I let him inside and tried to call his friend to pick him up. His friend didn’t answer. My ex boyfriend then began shouting at me, telling me that I had ruined his life by breaking up with him and that I “owed” him something. I told him no, over and over again, but he began to get violent so I gave in. Over the next few weeks he continued to show up, multiple times, unannounced. He would shout at me, threaten me and get violent so I gave in every time. I didn’t even put up a struggle towards the end because I became so afraid of him.
I never told anyone because I was/am ashamed and to this day I am afraid he will find me. I made up an excuse to move out of town, transfer to another college and change my number, but I’m still scared to look over my shoulder. My friends and family think I moved because I wanted to be closer to home.
It’s been a year and I still feel gross, dirty, used and disgusted. I grew up in a great family of feminists. I was taught that it is never the victim’s fault. But now that it has happened to me, I do feel guilt and I’m not even sure why..
Cos patriarchy. The system makes it so that you feel it’s your fault whatever happens. I am sorry you have been left feeling this way. Maybe speaking to a counsellor might help? Please scroll down and see numbers for Rape Crisis *hugs*
Yes I went drinking. Yes I went back to his place. Yes I let him get to second base. When I said wait he said please and kept going. When I tried again he kissed me when I turned my head he kissed my neck...when I pushed his hands away he pinned mine down. He said "its not like I'm trying to rape you. Just take your pants off." I closed my eyes. It was only his hand, we were drunk, and I didn't actually, say no. It was nearly 4 years ago...I'm still confused and I still feel dirty...
If he penetrated you against your will, it was rape. It does not matter that you had been drinking or that you had gone back to his place. Second base does not indicate consent. You resisted and he forced you. None of this is your fault.
We believe you.
Wishing you peace.
On a camping trip after my boyfriend of two years broke up with me I drank too much and ended up blacking out. When I opened my eyes his friend was on top of me. I told him to stop and get off but he didn’t listen. Once he was finished he rolled off of me. Afterwards my ex was so furious with me but was still friends with this guy. I didn’t have to courage to tell him what happened and still haven’t to this day. About 3 years afterwards I ended up getting sexually assaulted again by someone I didn’t know. I constantly have low self esteem and I feel like its somehow my fault for drinking and putting myself in these situations. I haven’t been in a relationship since the first incidence, 5 years ago.
It is not your fault that these people chose to harm you. It does not matter that you were drunk or that you found yourself in a situation where you were no longer safe. The onus should NOT be on victims to defend themselves but on rapists to stop raping. I am so sorry you have been left feeling this way. Please scroll down and see contact numbers for people you can talk to, alternatively see your GP who should be able to refer you to the appropriate support agency.
I was sexually abused by my stepfather at 13. I then went on to have a succession of abusive relationships, the last of which involved sex that I did not wish to have, but I gave in. Now celibate.
Sorry :( I can understand why. Have you ever spoken to anyone about it? There are services that can help you if you need support. Message me again if you want to find services local to you. Wishing you peace x
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